Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Life is full of surprises

Some are decidedly unpleasant, whilst others are so exceedingly pleasant that they make the thought of ending it all completely unthinkable. I was rather decidedly morbid as a child and actually took a great deal of pleasure in dreaming up scenarios of suicide but as is the case with many children it was just an over active imagination that I suffered from -- that and a lack of a sense of humour.

Today, I look back upon those dream scenarios as quite funny and ridiculous. I've learned that one can spend time imagining positive things instead and they can be very exciting and much more rewarding. But, every now and then I have some dark thoughts.

What would it be like, for example, if I were born a Korean man, one of those men that I've seen dragging their girlfriends/wives around by the hair and otherwise treating them quite roughly. But alas, I had better training. One does not strike a woman in my culture, no matter how provocative the offending woman may be about being abusive herself. It just isn't sporting. Not to mention the fact that to resort to physical violence is distinctly uncivilized unless done in an entirely defensive manner. Retribution might be rewarding in the mind's eye but when it is acted upon it's just ugly -- unless you somehow picture yourself a Hollywood star. But when the limelights turn out one is faced with the fact that one has done a despicable act, no matter how many hero worshippers follow you with a gleam in their eye.

I like to see my life as a bit of a karmic journey. In fact, I used the c-word far too often and with dubious reason when I was young -- in fact sometimes it was used just for the shock value. How fitting that nowadays I'd like to use it again, but it's power was only imagined and once again when I realize that I don't live in a movie I see that it is really just another of those despicable acts.

Life is good.

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