Thursday, October 12, 2006

rising out of the doldrums -- baptized by my sin

Lately, I've been feeling quite down about not being able to see my daughter during the Chuseok holiday. Well, I could have gone but I thought the price of the 'high season' flight would go better towards something more essential next year when she's in Korea.

Now, I don't particularly feel down any longer from sheer monotony, not any significant change of my living circumstances. Personally I can only be sad for so long before I get very bored of it. Clearly, at this point, being sad is not serving any purpose and the time has come for feelings of contentment and happiness.

Who the hell needs drugs when you can rationalize and modify your own mental state?

Speaking of rationalization I just recalled the whole baptism situation of Charlize and recalled that I wanted to write about it.

Earlier this month I wrote my curriculum Vitae, including such nasty things as having been banned from a buddhist monastery. What I failed to recall at the time was the day that I tried to get Charlize baptized.

I actually shouted loudly and bordered on cursing at a Catholic priest in a Nabas church (the only Nabas church?) who refused to baptize my daughter until I married her mother.

I quietly and patiently explained to the self-righteous priest that if I married Rosi before entering Canada the immigration officials would happily stamp her passport for a 2 week entry and then promptly send her back to the Philippines to wait 2 to 3 years for the immigration papers to go through.

However, if I bring Rosi into Canada and marry her afterward I can apply for her landing and eventual citizenship while she resides in the country with me!

So, the priest was telling me that I had better marry Rosi immediately and thus commit myself to living apart from her and my daughters for 2 to 3 years because it is far better to live without sin. When I explained to him that I would be essentially orphaning my own daughter just to avoid being in sin he didn't give a damn.

I couldn't believe he was being such a civil servant. The twit doesn't give a shit about Rosi, my daughter or me all he cares about is whether or not his ridiculous rule book is being followed.

It's sad that this is what Catholicism has become in the Philippines (and elsewhere). Being a good Catholic is no more about the intention of your thoughts and compassion it's about how good of a policeman you are (if you're a priest) and how good of a rule follower you are if you're a layman.

These fools in the upper echelons of the church are going to have to wake up and realize that religions that have strict rule books are growing more and more unpopular. They will have to release some of their power and reach for some compassionate understanding of the people of their church if they hope to hold onto their flock.

"Would you like to see the Pope on the end of a rope? Do you think he's a fool"?

I'd be willing to bet that there are a lot of Catholics that would silently agree with the above song lyric though it would make them feel guilty.

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